Bye-bye holiday performance, hello new practices

The holidays are a time that can be bittersweet. 

We may love the time we spend with our families, but they might also drive us bonkers, and stretch our limits and boundaries. We might not feel “seen” for who we truly are. Or maybe we have lost loved ones and it is a time that reminds us of those we miss. 

Whatever highs or lows you feel going into the holidays take a moment to think about where are you putting on a performance. 

Do you have to mentally prepare yourself before attending family events? Do you have anxiety about the conversation at the dinner table, shut down when things are awkward, or cringe when that family member takes up all the space? 

The holidays with family can be a time where we feel we have to “perform” to make it through. We develop coping mechanisms to conserve our energy or survive. We might have to show up as happy, feel like things are fake and surface level, and that we have to try to make others around us happy while inside we are seething, angry, and frustrated. 

What if — instead of performing for your family, you approach the holiday with some new ideas to “practice”? What might these new behaviors be? You could: 

• Pause before responding or reacting.

• Breathe and decide to have the hard conversation that is easier not to have.

• Listen to your inner voice and pay attention to what it tells you.

• Walk away. 

When we want to stop our normal performance and create new ways of showing up, we first have to start to practice new behaviors. That is the only way change will happen.

It may not be easy, but it is refreshing, healing, and can be life changing. 

Where are you performing? 

What are you practicing?

Pick one thing you want to start practicing over the holidays. 

Post a comment to share what you will start to do. I want to hear from you!